


Read at 1:03 AM

by anonemones (orphan_account)



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Dirty Jokes, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Implied Sexual Content, Light Angst, Multi, Multiple Pairings, Multiple Partners, Multiple Relationships, Polyamory, Post-Undertale Pacifist Route, Relationship(s), Tags May Change, Texting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-17
Updated: 2019-03-16
Packaged: 2019-11-19 14:30:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18136958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/anonemones
Summary: Alphys crushes on a lot of people. Turns out, they love her back.Dates, chaos & anime ensues.





	Read at 1:03 AM

**Author's Note:**

> hi. im not dead.  
> also: i ship them.   
> that's all bye.

fish nerd: ALPHYS

fish nerd: oh wait fuck you’re sleeping sorry

doc: undyne you two are in the same bed why are you texting

fish nerd: GET OFF MY DICK WINGDINGS

doc: * Gaster

doc: also, rude

doc: and quit typing in all caps my head hurts

dreemurrbuns: I told you not to drink that much.

doc: I’m sorry? that I wanted to enjoy our anniversary? that I wanted to let loose for a while?

skelesans: g nobody says that anymore omg

doc: Sans Nobody Asked You

skelesans: and yet you responded

dreemurrbuns: I am going back to bed.

skelesans: actually wait

skelesans: holy fuck we’ve all been together for 2 years

skelesans: holy shit

fish nerd: YOU’RE ONLY THINKING ABOUT THIS NOW???

doc: caps

fish nerd: i will push BOTH of you out of this bed

doc: but also. Sans. what the hell did you think the party was For.

skelesans: .

skelesans: everything bleeds together these days so i didn’t really think abt it

skelesans: OW

skelesans: UNDYNE THE FUCK

fish nerd: I SAID I WAS GOING TO PUSH YOU OUT OF THE BED

skelesans: I DIDN’T THINK YOU MEANT IT

skelesans: tHAT HURT

fish nerd: ;;; sorry

fish nerd: are you ok?

skelesans: yea BUT IM STILL MAD

fish nerd: :(

doc: perish

skelesans: WOW

fish nerd: LKHDLSKHFKSDGHKDS

fish nerd: FUCKING WASTED

skelesans: im sleeping on the floor now fuck you all

skelesans: except for asgore & alph, they’re chill

skelesans: but seriously gnight

doc: I still can’t believe you forgot it was our anniversary

skelesans: my sense of time? and dates? is not good? you know this???

doc: true

skelesans: you are aware of exactly WHY that is too ??? considering it’s the whole reason getting you back was a FUCKING PAIN

doc: ah yes, bc being in an endless void, alone, having to witness a thousand timelines wasn’t the painful part, it was restoring time and space and bringing me back

doc: got it

skelesans: g

doc: ?

skelesans: get down here and cuddle me you sarcastic bastard

doc: lmao no suffer

skelesans: AT LEAST GIVE ME A BLANKET???

fish nerd: forgetful nerds get 0 blankets, they must face their punishment and lie on the cold floor

mewmewalphys: sans why are you screaming

fish nerd: OW MY EAR DRUMS?????

dreemurrbuns: I’m awake again. Why.

skelesans: II FKHLDSFD

doc: words, Sans.

skelesans: I ROLLED OVER AND FUCKIN G KICKED THE BED LIKE A DUMBASS

skelesans: MY LEG IS BLEE DI NG I WANT TO DIE

mewmewalphys: omg I have NEVER seen you guys move that fast??

mewmewalphys: oh wow ok and undyne is picking you all up okay wow

mewmewalphys: oh that’s a lot of blood

mewmewalphys: oH OKAY IM BEING PICKED UP TOO OKAY THEN

*

doc: why do our mornings always start out like this

dreemurrbuns: Undyne.

fish nerd: HEY

fish nerd: I WILL FLING THESE PANCAKES AT YOU

fish nerd: DO NOT TEMPT ME

skelesans: actually can you do that please im starving

doc: that’s bc you lost half of your magic resources by being a fucking dumbass at 6 in the morning

skelesans: YOU ALL KICKED ME OUT OF THE BED

doc: FOR FORGETTING OUR ANNIVERSARY

mewmewalphys: yOU WHAT

skelesans: JUST GIVE ME THE FUCKING PANCAKES OH MY GOD

skelesans: WE WENT OVER THIS ALREADY PLUS I THINK I’VE BEEN PUNISHED ENOUGH VIA THE CRACK IN MY FEMUR.

doc: okay fair

fish nerd: yeah that’s tru

mewmewalphys: how did you forget??? we had a party and everything???

skelesans: 1) i was drunk 2) timeline shit 3) half of that time i was watching frisk and trying to keep them from falling and dying bc that kid climbs on literally everything??

fish nerd: but they managed to climb that tree and put the skeleton flag on it!!

skelesans: toriel almost had a heart attack

skelesans: I almost had a heart attack.

dreemurrbuns: Frisk is certainly a worrisome child.

dreemurrbuns: I had to stop them from drinking an entire thing of vodka.

fish nerd: ????????????

mewmewalphys: wHAT

mewmewalphys: THEY’RE 15

doc: how did they get a hold of the alcohol in the first place?

dreemurrbuns: They wanted to speak with me and while we were talking they grabbed my bottle and just. chugged it

skelesans: oh my god

dreemurrbuns: You’re laughing but I was mortified

dreemurrbuns: They just handed it back to me with this big smile on their face and thanked me

doc: so THAT’S why Toriel slapped you

fish nerd: OMG THAT’S WHY SHE DID THAT???

mewmewalphys: asgore you REALLY need to learn to say no to frisk;;

dreemurrbuns: They just took it from me!! I would have told them no if they asked.

dreemurrbuns: Though I suppose I should be more careful with setting my drinks down when they’re around…

skelesans: wait

skelesans: omg

mewmewalphys: ?

doc: ?

fish nerd: ?

skelesans: THAT LITTLE SHIT

skelesans: THAT’S WHERE MY BEER’S BEEN GOING

fish nerd: we should probably talk to Toriel about this

mewmewalphys: yea we should

doc: can we do it after breakfast please?

doc: I need food before Toriel kills us

doc: or Sans

skelesans: wHY ARE YOU ALL TARGETING ME TODAY I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING

fish nerd: our anniversary

doc: 2 years

mewmewalphys: down the drain

dreemurrbuns: Completely forgotten.

skelesans: IM GOING BACK TO BED

*

skelesans: hey frisk

skelesans: first of all i know what you did & now so does your mom

skelesans: and also i need your help with something

determinationator: ????????? what??? did i do???

skelesans: 4th compartment under my bed

determinationator: ;;;;;;;

determinationator: sorry

skelesans: you’re gonna have to tell that to your mom

determinationator: o o f

skelesans: rip

skelesans: gotta say tho justice is fuckin amazing when it’s not aimed at you

determinationator: hEY

skelesans: you were stealing my beer im calling it even

determinationator: IT WASN’T THAT MUCH

skelesans: an entire 6 pack isn’t much?????

determinationator: it was with friends!!! i only had one!

skelesans: and drinking asgore’s vodka?

determinationator: that was a dare

skelesans: still.

determinationator: :////

determinationator: what did you need help with??

skelesans: RIGHT

skelesans: are you free later?

determinationator: if im not grounded yea

determinationator: why?

skelesans: i

skelesans: i cant believe im asking this from a kid fml

determinationator: ????

skelesans: i need!! help!! dating wise

determinationator: say no more. ill see you @ 3

skelesans: !!! you’re amazing ily platonically

determinationator: of course uncle

skelesans: do not call me uncle

determinationator: bro?

skelesans: nope.

skelesans: and don’t call me daddy either i s2g

determinationator: dude friend buddy pal?

skelesans: .

skelesans: we’ll work on that another time

skelesans: also if you steal my booze again im telling toriel about you sneaking out to go make out with mk

determinationator: IT WAS ONE TIME FUCK YOU

determinationator: but also fair

determinationator: bye!!! time to die rip

skelesans: i’ll attend your funeral & make sure that pap brings flowers

determinationator: bless

*

mewmewalphys: guys help idk what to wear

doc: what makes you comfortable

fish nerd: DRESS

doc: or that

mewmewalphys: alkshfdsg

mewmewalphys: undyne you always want to see me in a dress

mewmewalphys: and also this isn’t a date;;

fish nerd: every moment with you might as well be a date bc everything is passionate & warm & fuzzy

fish nerd: and also bc there isn’t a moment that goes by where i don’t want to smooch you

doc: omg

doc: Omg she’s blushing so much

dreemurrbuns: Undyne did you break Alphys again?

fish nerd: it’s the cute kind of breaking!!!!

mewmewalphys: im wearing the dress!!! but with a jacket bc my shoulders are breaking out and that’s Not Good

doc: ??? acne is normal???

mewmewalphys: Shhhhhhhhhh

doc: ?????????????????

doc: I don’t understand.

fish nerd: not all of us can be skeletons wingdings

doc: * Gaster

fish nerd: MY POINT STILL STANDS

dreemurrbuns: Gaster could you help me in the living room for a moment? I can’t find my glasses.

doc: that’s because you left them in the bedroom this morning

dreemurrbuns: Oh.

dreemurrbuns: Thank you <3

doc: no problem

doc: where is sans??

skelesans: dying

mewmewalphys: please don’t joke about that you’re fragile and that’s scary

skelesans: alkshfsdhlkg im not but ok

fish nerd: fragile smol skele

fish nerd: round floof needs protecc

skelesans: LKSHFDSLKGHKSLDH

doc: snores at 3am loud enough to wake an entire village tho

skelesans: WINGDINGS I S2G

doc: WELL

fish nerd: OH SO HE CAN CALL YOU WINGDINGS BUT I CANT??

doc: he can’t but he’s stubborn and trying to get sans to let go of a joke is nearly impossible

skelesans: wdg from the nyc

doc: IM GOING TO THROTTLE YOU

skelesans: AKSLHFSDLKGHS THEN GET UP HERE AND DO IT BONE MAN

doc: WE’RE BOTH SKELETONS

mewmewalphys: that sounds like a lot of arguing and not a lot of getting ready to head out!!! what are you all doing!!! i have been standing by the door for ten minutes!!!

skelesans: FUCK

doc: SORRY

fish nerd: WE’RE COMING HOLD ON

mewmewalphys: you guys are exhausting

dreemurrbuns: But you love us!

skelesans: everyone loves you big guy

dreemurrbuns: Sans you are also a “big guy.” I still don’t understand why you call me that.

dreemurrbuns: But thank you.

skelesans: i

skelesans: i don’t know what the quotations are for but thanks??? i think????

mewmewalphys: guys.

fish nerd: i got it.

mewmewalphys: there she go

mewmewalphys: omg

doc: they’re both screaming

doc: why do they both scream when she does that

doc: she does this all the time

mewmewalphys: i don’t know but i love it every time

doc: is it just like your animes?

doc: OW

mewmewalphys: sorry but you deserved that

doc: :(

fish nerd: WE’RE HERE

mewmewalphys: OK AWESOME TO THE MALL WE GO!!

*

mewmewalphys: i GOT MANGAS

mewmewalphys: the 11th book came out for mew mew kissy cutie AAAAAAAAAA

mewmewalphys: im literally bouncing so much rn i cant

dreemurrbuns: She is. I just watched her almost drop her phone twice.

dreemurrbuns: Correction: 3 times.

fish nerd: THE 11TH BOOK IS OUT???

mewmewalphys: YEAH

mewmewalphys: i got a copy for you dw about it

fish nerd: Y E S

fish nerd: do you think she’ll finally get her girl or what??? bc like they’ve been leading up to that for the past 5 books and im Impatient

mewmewalphys: THEY BETTER BC IF THEY DON’T ILL BE L I V I D

mewmewalphys: mew mew deserves nothing but the best i will fight

doc: we’re going to be rewatching the anime again aren’t we

mewmewalphys: i can hear you groaning from here

doc: i didn’t groan

fish nerd: yeah you did

doc: undYNE

fish nerd: i

fish nerd: did you just?? kiss my cheek?? to shut me up???

doc: did it work?

fish nerd: no but it was cute

doc: damn

fish nerd: LKHSLKHFSDG

fish nerd: oH I SEE SANS

fish nerd: BRB

mewmewalphys: pls be careful!! and also we’re heading to that one clothes shop near the end of the mall when you’re done looking at those shoes i TOLD you we can’t afford

fish nerd: THEY’RE PERFECT FOR KICKING ASS

mewmewalphys: THEY’RE TOO EXPENSIVE UNDYNE

fish nerd: I COULD BEAT UP ALL THE BAD GUYS THO

doc: im going to just. wait in the car

fish nerd: LSKHFSLDHGLS WHERE ARE YOU GOING

fish nerd: GET OVER HERE

dreemurrbuns: Please don’t get us kicked out again.

dreemurrbuns: That is something I would like to never repeat again.

mewmewalphys: yea actually can we please NOT cause a scene that would suck & we still have shopping to do.

mewmewalphys: it’s been 10 minutes WHY ARENT YOU RESPONDING

fish nerd: we uh

skelesans: hi

fish nerd: LKHDSLKFHS

fish nerd: SANS YOU CAN’T JUST FUCKIN G SAY HI AFTER WE WERE MAKING OUT

skelesans: why not?

mewmewalphys: G U YS

mewmewalphys: WE’RE IN PUBLIC

doc: we’re gross and in love we do what we want

mewmewalphys: oH MY GOD

mewmewalphys: if you’re gonna make out at LEAST do it with us wtf

skelesans: you melt when we hold your hand in public you wouldn’t be able to stay conscious during a make out session

mewmewalphys: .

mewmewalphys: do you guys do this a lot???

fish nerd: we’re all dating each other alph

doc: I mean we’ve done more than just making out but. sure

mewmewalphys: I

dreemurrbuns: She’s broken again.

fish nerd: sans i see what you’re looking at and the answer is no

skelesans: im gonna get it. you can’t stop me

fish nerd: i will surplex you into another dimension Do Not

doc: ?

doc: oh

doc: OH

dreemurrbuns: ?

mewmewalphys: what’s happening im confused

doc: SANS DON’T YOU DARE

skelesans: too late

fish nerd: N O

fish nerd: WE ARE NOT DOING THIS AGAIN

mewmewalphys: . are you at the store with the color bombs again.

dreemurrbuns: Oh no.

mewmewalphys: are those alarms??

doc: shopping day’s over, time to go

skelesans: wORTH IT

fish nerd: IM GOING TO THROW YOU INTO THE SUN

skelesans: GOTTA CATCH ME FIRST

fish nerd: FUCK

mewmewalphys: O H M Y G OD

doc: i have a headache

dreemurrbuns: Seconded.

dreemurrbuns: Alphys why are you laughing??

mewmewalphys: Sans just ran past me with a bunch of color bombs in his arms and shouted “FUCK THE RULES” and then teleported through a bathroom door

mewmewalphys: undyne was behind him

mewmewalphys: she smacked into the door

mewmewalphys: o h my god we need to lea ve but i can’t b rea the

dreemurrbuns: All of you worry me

fish nerd: SANS COME OUT OF THE BATHROOM

skelesans: IM NOT IN THE BATHROOM

fish nerd: YES YOU ARE????

skelesans: NO IM NOT

skelesans: BUT I CAN TELL YOU WHAT’S IN OUR CAR

doc: N o

mewmewalphys: sANS NO

skelesans: it’s fine they’re paid for

mewmewalphys: ok that’s. a little better

mewmewalphys: BUT STILL

dreemurrbuns: Undyne just ran past again.

doc: I’ll stop her

dreemurrbuns: I’ll stop Sans

mewmewalphys: i’m going to just. lay here and die

mewmewalphys: or you can pick me up. that’s fine too, i guess

*

mewmewalphys: i can’t believe you set off a bunch of color bombs in the mall.

mewmewalphys: and in the car.

mewmewalphys: and in our living room.

skelesans: to be fair i didn’t do the last two, that was undyne.

mewmewalphys: the you was general.

doc: ??? I did nothing???

mewmewalphys: the you excluded gaster.

mewmewalphys: the rest of you tho? guilty. sleeping on the couch.

skelesans: that’s an improvement from the floor so i’ll take it

mewmewalphys: ????? when were you on the floor?

skelesans: i hurt my leg this morning for a reason alph

mewmewalphys: idk how i sleep through this shit

fish nerd: :O we should all have a sleep over!! in the living room!!!

mewmewalphys: :O !!!!

dreemurrbuns: Like a movie night?

skelesans: YESSSSS

skelesans: i still have. that stash of gourmet popcorn somewhere in the cupboards.

doc: ooooo yes please

doc: but also I don’t know where we put our air mattress and I Refuse to sleep on the floor. that will kill my back and I am not willing to repeat that fiasco ever again.

dreemurrbuns: I thought it was cute watching you walk around like that.

doc: I will hit you with my spine.

dreemurrbuns: Please do not.

skelesans: g you can’t even. do that

skelesans: you’d dust

doc: The Threat Still Stands

skelesans: noted

mewmewalphys: we can’t do anything until we clean up this mess

dreemurrbuns: How though.

doc: I

doc: don’t know

fish nerd: ;; actually how did we get this stuff out of the carpet the last time???

skelesans: this was a mistake and i regret it immensely

dreemurrbuns: It was fun though.

fish nerd: it was

fish nerd: oh no he’s moping

mewmewalphys: oop well time to kiss a skeleton

skelesans: ALSKFHSDKLHG

skelesans: I WASN’T READK HY KSHTSDLKGHDS

mewmewalphys: no moping allowed only good vibes

skelesans: GET BA KC OVER HER E SO I CAN KISS YOU BACK

mewmewalphys: nO

mewmewalphys: mostly bc im getting the shampooer tho

skelesans: fair

skelesans: ;;;; oh wait shit our clothes

dreemurrbuns: Oh dear.

doc: Sans no offense but if we weren’t dating I’d be so pissed right now

skelesans: so you’re not mad??

doc: I am but I’m suppressing it for your sakes

doc: don’t give me that look undyne you encouraged this

fish nerd: dONT ACT LIKE YOU DIDN’T ENJOY IT

doc: im going to be blue for two weeks

fish nerd: i mean

fish nerd: you sleep enough with sans that’s gonna happen anyway

skelesans: B Y E

dreemurrbuns: I’m going to go find the cleaning supplies.

doc: I TAKE IT BACK

doc: I HATE THIS

doc: AND IM PISSED

*

fish nerd: wait why Is it blue tho

skelesans: will you just help us move the furniture and STOP talking about sex???

fish nerd: FINE

*

determinationator: hey so. am grounded

skelesans: it’s fine we’re having a sleepover-date thing later so it worked out

determinationator: !!! nice

determinationator: also i heard from asgore you got a hold of color bombs again

skelesans: we’re still cleaning the house and g won’t talk to me

determinationator: yike

skelesans: it’s mostly just bc he’s flustered tho

skelesans: we’re taking a break rn and he’s leaning on me w/ his head on my shoulder so like. he can’t be too mad

skelesans: he says hi

determinationator: hi gaster!!!!

skelesans: he told me to tell you that he r

determinationator: ?

skelesans: this is gaster and sans’ phone has now been confiscated

determinationator: omg

*

mewmewalphys: cLEANING IS DONE!!! CLEANING IS DONE!! CLEANING IS DONE!!!!

mewmewalphys: ANIME MARATHON IN PROCESS!!!

fish nerd: FUCK YEAH!!!

dreemurrbuns: I will make the popcorn.

doc: i’ll get the mattress

skelesans: i’ll play mediator

fish nerd: we’re not that bad

skelesans: yes. you are.

skelesans: but also i can’t. feel my legs so like….i can’t move. so. this is all i can do for rn

fish nerd: are you ok?

skelesans: tired. and also just. sore.

mewmewalphys: fair

mewmewalphys: should we watch mew mew or that new anime with the swords and robots?

fish nerd: SWORDS SWORDS SWORDS

mewmewalphys: im not even surprised

doc: can we watch the one with swords please

doc: like ily alphys but i don’t think i can handle mew mew rn. maybe afterwards

mewmewalphys: honestly fair

dreemurrbuns: I would also like to watch the one with the swords.

dreemurrbuns: And the popcorn is going.

skelesans: yesss

mewmewalphys: mediator?

skelesans: i have no idea what it’s abt so i don’t care

mewmewalphys: you’re a bad mediator sans

skelesans: the worst

fish nerd: anime’s in!!

fish nerd: CUDDLE TIME!!

skelesans: im in the middle this time oh i see

fish nerd: lmao this isn’t gonna last but yeah

mewmewalphys: once gaster finds the mattress we’ll all have room to cuddle so for now it’s sans squish time.

skelesans: please never say that again

skelesans: but also: i am not properly squished

skelesans: UNDYNE THAT ISN’T WHAT I MEAN TLKH ALKHFSD

doc: you are all unbelievable & im sleeping upstairs

mewmewalphys: get in here

doc: Fine.

*

mewmewalphys: aw you’re all sleeping that’s so cute

mewmewalphys: anyways uh!! even if today was hectic!!!!! i had a lot of fun today!!! and i love you all a lot!!!!

mewmewalphys: i’m so happy i have you all in my life <3 <3 <3

mewmewalphys: thanks for 2 years of happiness & good times

mewmewalphys: good night, love you guys!!

*

dreemurrbuns: Alphys.

fish nerd: she’s sleeping shhhh

skelesans: why are you guys typing it’s 1 in the morning

skelesans: oh

doc: im going to cry

dreemurrbuns: :( :( :(

dreemurrbuns: Come here

doc: k

skelesans: oh no g no;;;

skelesans: alphys’ love is so pure it killed him

fish nerd: to be fair alphys is always killing us with her love

skelesans: fair point

skelesans: i want in on the cuddles move over

fish nerd: me too!!

doc: I love you all so much what the f uck

doc: I’m going to cuddle the shit out of her in the morning & smother her in so much fucking love I s2g

fish nerd: mood

dreemurrbuns: Agreed.

skelesans: hard same

**Author's Note:**

> for reference, the usernames:
> 
> alphys--mewmewalphys  
> undyne--fish nerd  
> asgore--dreemurrbuns  
> gaster--doc  
> sans--skelesans  
> frisk--determinationator  
> toriel--queen mom  
> papyrus--bonetrousling  
> mettaton--robot star


End file.
